i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
4 words: hood of his car
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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