Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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