Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
