New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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