Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Randomize
