I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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