i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
