alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize