So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
