That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
it's great music for shaving your balls
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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