M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
