they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
