their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize