Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
