Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
