My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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