I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
smell my finger.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
