No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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