OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
