I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
