I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
