Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
