11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
She said her name was "party"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
