just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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