butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
