Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
