I wish I only lived at night.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
