Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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