I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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