Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
They have beer where we have blood.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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