I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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