So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
