Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
