so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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