she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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