I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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