you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
