I'm eating all of the evidence.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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