I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
