He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
