big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
