i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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