He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
