i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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