I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
