Dual....:-)
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize