Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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