Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
