i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
This baby is an asshole
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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