she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Drunk is not a location!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize