That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
What a dumb baby whore.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
