i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
