woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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