evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
