How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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