what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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