from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
