This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
