You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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