so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
