I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
