I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize