Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
